In-laws watch TV from 7 AM to 10 PM every day while visiting their son, refuse to acknowledge his wife when the TV is on: 'I am so confused as to how they think sitting in front of the TV in silence constitutes quality time'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jun 2, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

I'm on the fence about whether watching TV with someone is valuable bonding time. You can do it one of two ways: either you talk through the entire show, or you have sufficient time after the show to talk about it and anything else going on with your life. I love going to the movies with my friends, but you'd better believe I'm talking to them through the previews and hanging out with them afterwards. Otherwise, I might as well have gone to the movie all by myself! 

If all you do when hanging out with loved ones is sit in silence and watch mindless programming all day long without even looking at each other, I wouldn't consider that quality time. You might have fond memories of doing so, but it's not quality time. I'm not saying you should stop mindlessly watching TV with your loved ones, but you've got to be real about how valuable it actually is. 

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  • 01

    AITA for not wanting to sit in front of the TV all day?

    I think my in-laws are weird. Is this weird or is it just me? If my mother-in-law come over to spend the night or we stay at her house, the entire visit is focused on watching television. The very moment we wake up, to the very moment we go to sleep, the family is parked in front of the TV.
    via u/why_am_i_here_yo

  • The in-laws in this story love nothing more than plopping in front of the TV and watching any and everything. They value this above spending actual quality time with their son, his wife, and their baby. Did I mention that they live 1000 miles away from each other?

  • 02
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    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    To the point that the only meal they eat is dinner. Maybe my husband will grab chips around lunch time, but I kid you not, coffee is made, TV gets turned on at 7am and it stays on till 10pm. when it's bed time. I try to talk or start and conversation, and the TV doesn't get turned down.
    via u/why_am_i_here_yo
  • 04
    Nobody responds to me. They just look over, nod to acknowledge I spoke, and then stare at the TV again. When I ask if anyone wants to do anything they just shrug and tell me to plan something. I got everyone to go to the pool which was great, but if I didn't, it would have literally been TV from sun up till sun down literally to the point
    via u/why_am_i_here_yo
  • 05
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    via Lee Jeffs

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 06
    that they wouldn't have even gotten up to eat. That's just not how I learned to spend time with family. Or anybody for that matter. If we sit around, I'm much more used to talking, cooking, board games, listening to music and dancing (we have a baby that likes to dance) etc. I turned music on the other morning, and they
    via u/why_am_i_here_yo
  • 07
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    via Sabur Ahmed Jishan

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 08
    turned it off to watch a reality Barbecue cook off show ..... •.•. I've left the room quite a few times because I don't like sitting in front of the TV all day. Sometimes I'll go work in my office or use the time to do self
    via u/why_am_i_here_yo
  • 09
    care while my mother-in-law holds the baby. I don't consider this quality time. I can zone out and go brain de d with a screen alone. Honestly it feels like I'm alone since everyone is de d silent.
    via u/why_am_i_here_yo
  • 10
    ArcherBarcher31 Everyone doesn't have to do the same thing. Have a conversation with your husband and tell him you don't enjoy watching TV 24/7, so when the in-laws are over, either he can help you coordinate doing something to get out of the house, or you'll make plans with friends to get out for a bit.
    via u/ArcherBarcher31
  • 11
    why_am_i_here_yo OP We live over 1,000 miles apart and I'm more than happy to spend time with everyone and I'd feel ride if I literally left since it's a hassle to get together when we do since we live so far apart. But I am so confused as to how they think sitting in front of the TV in silence constitutes quality time. They don't even discuss what show gets. turns on. Someone just selects a random reality TV show and whatever the screen plays, it's like everyone is there to bow down to and obey
    via u/why_am_i_here_yo
  • 12
    ArcherBarcher31 I mean, you're in the same room, but that's not really spending time with them. I think it's r de that they come over and basically hold you hostage. Why do they even come over if they're not going to interact? It's obviously up to you how you handle this, but I don't think you should feel obligated to just sit there doing nothing all day. I would love to see what would happen if you hide the TV when they come over next time and you tell them it's in the shop getting fixed.
    via u/ArcherBarcher31
  • 13
    why_am_i_here_yo OP Bruh. My TV was broken and before my mother- in-law came over my husband asked her to spend $400 on a TV and she had it delivered to the house before her flight landed
    via u/why_am_i_here_yo
  • 14
    coupl4nd Does your husband just sit in front of the tv all day? Is he a different person with his parents over...? It definitely sounds weird!
    via u/coupl4nd
  • 15
    RealChunka I understand the struggle when you are guests in their home, but when they are guests in your home, you are the hosts (along with husband) and should plan meals and at least one activity to do as a family each day. This doesn't mean you have to cook three meals per day or plan expensive outings - meals can be casual and outings can be free, but having something pre- planned will likely be more effective than just asking "if anybody wants to do anything".
    via u/RealChunka
  • 16
    For the meals, make your own pizza or taco nights are inherently social. You and hubby would just need to set out the ingredients and gather everyone around. Game nights are great - just ask ahead to make sure you plan for games they actually like. Find free activities in your city. Try to plan at least one kid focused activity. Grandparents are usually keen to participate in that type of stuff. Since you know they like TV, find a way to make that more social, like having a themed movie night, o
    via u/RealChunka
  • 17
    Get your husband on board. Find things in their town you'd like to see/do and ask ahead of your visit if they'd like to join you. This way you're giving them the opportunity to join you while at the same time setting the expectation that you will be going with or without them. Most importantly, if none of these tips work, you should be able to talk to them about this without judgement. Don't bring it up in the middle of "their program", instead during time apart, ask their assistance in planning
    via u/RealChunka
  • 18
    ht1660 This reminds me of my childhood. I cannot stand to watch much tv now due to its constant presence. I would plan alternative things to do--and take the kid, that much screen time in not good for the littles.
    via u/ht1660
  • 19
    ProfessionalField508 Same. My dad is in assisted living, but they comment that he doesn't like coming out of his room because he wants to watch his own TV. They think it's a concerning change in his personality. I have told them that is exactly what he's done my whole life. I can't even listen to music for long anymore. I just want it quiet in my own house.
    via u/ProfessionalField508
  • 20
    Square-Minimum-6042 Next time she's visiting change the wifi password and pretend there's an outage. Get her up and out of the house.
    via u/Square-Minimum-6042
  • 21
    why_am_i_here_yo OP I wish I could. My husband would freak out if there was no WiFi. He's just as guilty. This is how he learned to spend time with his family.
    via u/why_am_i_here_yo
  • 22
    DesperateLobster69 Tell him he needs to grow tf up & do better, because your baby will NOT be a zombie rotting their brain in front of a TV screen all day!!! How could you even stay married to someone like that??
    via u/DesperateLobster69
  • 23
    My partner & I enjoy watching TV together, but we really enjoy getting out of the house, going for walks & spending time with extended family. His family doesn't even interact with you while they watch TV all day which is SO R_DE!! Ugh I would not be able to hang out with those people!
    via u/DesperateLobster69
  • 24
    shitdipper That's how your husband's family spend time together. Is it a little sad when it's this excessive? Sure. But my visits with my father were often very similar and if I had to stretch my legs, it was something I did alone.
    via u/shitdipper
  • 25
    NTA for having these feelings, and really there's just NAH. I am a tv guy and love a lazy day in front of the TV, but what you describe is a lot and I'd even have trouble with it. That said, I don't think you should say or do anything about it. Next time the in-laws visit, line up alone-time activities like books you've intended to read or household tasks that need to get done - then any time you need to escape the TV you've got something to do and don't need to convince anyone.
    via u/shitdipper

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